I was talking to some guy on Facebook last night (he’s actually the best friend of one of my guy friends) and he started to randomly flirt with me. It was kind of weird because guys don’t ever flirt with me. Ever. Eventually we switched over to texting and he “accidentally” (I don’t think it was an accident to be honest) sent me a body shot picture.
He also randomly brought up drugs to me twice, about how he needed some. Honestly, he doesn’t seem like the type of person who would indulge in this sort of vice. He also mentioned that he’s really into alcohol. Rich suburban kids really know how to get down, huh?
I don’t know what to make of him. In a sense I’m glad he’s popped up and wants to talk and chill with me, because honestly, I don’t really have any friends anymore, and because of that I’ve gotten super depressed about being alone all the time. My mom and I were talking last night and she said it only takes that one person to walk into your life, and after that many others begin to follow. I’m really hoping this is the case. I’ve always had difficulty making friends for some reason; I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about me that just seems to rub people the wrong way.
I was talking to my mom again this morning and we were laughing and joking and I thought to myself, no one ever gets to see this side of me. I’m always so quiet and reserved. I’m always asked to speak up because I speak to softly. My presence is usually forgotten due to the fact that I don’t talk much. I just don’t ever feel like I can act the way I do with my mom with other people. To fix this, the answer is pretty clear: just say fuck it and act the way I want to, and if people don’t like it they can piss off. But it doesn’t feel so simple.
Where are all the other lonely people? Come be with me. :[
